Epilepsy

Seizing Life

By Stephen Piorkowski

Caught in a brain that shuts down
Spinning around to the ground
Is anyone around to help me?

Falling down on pavement and scar myself
Seizure shaken on the ground

Nightmares, seizures
happen in my sleep
Blood on my pillow  in pain I weep

Woken feeling weak, memory lost
unaware of my surroundings looking for some thought , anything barely I can speak

Start my day in a haze
Not remembering a single phrase

in a place nobody wants
Should I let go

Seizures My License to Drive Taken
strength to walk and bicycle for miles
My only way to keep independent

For the hope that my seizures won’t happen again
Please nderstand  my friend  I don’t want to Traumatize You
Seeing the pain that you visualize I can not forget that nightmare seen in your eyes
You can leave me for our friendship to end because I understand

Cast aside from people that can’t handle a disability
Caught in a lifetime of nightmares that even occur during the day

Never feeling that I will ever be released from seizures that never cease
Wanting to move forward to be a normal person

Conscious of my road blocks
Triggers of Epilepsy liken to a Trigger of a Gun must rest, take medicine and take brain test

Feel the darkness all around me, falling in a deep hole that traps
Darkness of Death Near, Void of Memory and filled with Fear
Injury on a blood-stained pavement, I’m peeled away by EMT
Faint sounds of sirens Flashing Red Lights, I’m not conscious surrounded by fright

Pain that I cannot feel from injuries my body reveals
Mind shut down rebooting like a computer but shattered and never working
Noticing the woman across the room Crying in horror viewing me as I come to
The pain and blood all written on my face the scars will remain,
my past Images me in a Mirror unscarred   I will never replace

Doctors and Nurses secure me tight in a bed, I can only sense by past painful memories why I’m here
Feeling the need to hide because I feel fear, not wanting anyone to know why I’m here
my life’s independence will be taken from me, I’m the victim of this seizure tragedy

It’s coming back I know this fear, it’s a smell, sound and lights that bring the seizure near
Sensing my fear in the pit of my stomach travelling up to my brain happening to me again
Auras of Lights, Smells and Sounds that are not there
Deeper into Darkness I Despair

Should I go on and sometimes I feel I can’t
Cursed with a life of epilepsy
My life challenges me constantly
My Hope remains in the Darkest of Days
Focused on the Brightest I am Stronger of my Challenges

 

 

 

 

Stephen Piorkowski graduated from Schenectady County Community College in May 2016 with a Dual Concentration in Culinary Arts and Baking. Stephen returned to complete a second degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management and will finish this May 2017. In the Fall of 2017 he will be enrolling in the Human Services Program. Stephen has been living with epilepsy since the age of 2 and shares his passion for helping others through his involvement in the Studio Art Therapy Program and Adult Support Group for the Epilepsy Foundation of Northeastern NY as well as being an avid advocate and spokesperson.

 

To learn more about epilepsy, please visit the Epilepsy Foundation.

One thought on “Seizing Life

  1. This actually brought tears to my eyes. I have two brothers that both have seizures and their reality breaks my heart.

    I cherish your words and you telling your story, Stephen.

    Like

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