By Leeann Sinniger
The doctor keeps upping my meds for the voice in my head.
Maybe I should have just stayed in my bed.
My bed has stains from tears that I cry.
And I can’t figure out why.
These ups and downs.
They call it bipolar .
Just another label.
And this is not fable.
I draw with a blade.
Making none of my friends stay.
Only scars remain.
No one understands so I just hide it all inside.
I don’t even know why.
I just can’t explain my pain.
I choose to stay no matter if they go away.
I don’t meet the right standards.
The teachers say they can stand her.
No she is smart.
You are ignorant for underestimating her. All kids learn differently.
Don’t look at me like I have a disability.
Just because I gave trouble with my brain.
I will try not to leave stains.
I will fight the voices to try to make the right choices.
Hello I am Leeann Sinniger. I am 17 years old. I like to journal my feelings. I am diagnosed with a learning disability and bipolar depression. Hopefully this will help some people understand what I have to go through.
Talking about mental health can take an incredible amount of bravery from even the most confident adult, and I am inspired by Leeann’s willingness to write about her struggles and share them with us at such a young age. She deserves a huge round of applause for her courage. I have known Leeann since she was a little kid, and she was my student back when I taught middle school Sunday school at the Huntingdon CMA. I am so happy and excited to have seen her grow so much over the past few years!
Pre-existing Poems has had so many submissions from wonderful poets from all levels of writing experience, and I’ve never felt so humbled and grateful. I would love to see more stuff from teens like Leeann come my way.
There are many different types of learning disabilities which can affect people of all ages. To find out more about them, check out LDA America.
If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal or have the urge to self-harm, please reach out for help. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 in the United States. If you’re nervous about the idea of calling a hotline, I also found this post that explains what usually happens when you do make the call.